You Are Being Discipled
What shapes us when the church doesn't
Most of us are being spiritually formed every single day—and very little of it is happening at church.
We are shaped by the voices we listen to, the stories we return to, the outrage we consume, and the certainty we prefer. Formation is unavoidable. The only real question is who or what is doing the forming.
When Jesus begins his ministry in Matthew’s Gospel, his first words aren’t about belief or belonging. They are a call to change: “Change your hearts and lives! Here comes the kingdom of heaven!” From the very beginning, following Jesus was about transformation, not affirmation.These words mark the beginning of Jesus’ public ministry in Matthew’s Gospel. At the outset, Jesus calls people to change their minds, to take on a new perspective, to reorient their lives. In other words, Jesus invites us into spiritual formation.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth: the mainline church (the tradition in which I serve) has largely abdicated its responsibility for this work. I could make the case that the American Protestant church more broadly has done the same.
But I also wonder if part of the problem isn’t just institutional,it’s personal. It has something to do with how we show up to Christian community in the first place.
A few observations:
I think many of us come to church not primarily to learn or be transformed, but to have what we already believe about God affirmed and justified. As a pastor, I’m not immune to this temptation either. Still, I’m convinced that the church must reclaim spiritual formation as one of its core callings; intentionally creating spaces where people can actually be shaped, stretched, and changed. I must be wiling to show up not looking to have my beliefs, thoughts, and worldview affirmed or dictated to me, but open to being shaped while considering new possibilties.
Along those lines, I think the phrase “Bible-believing church” should be retired. Not because I don’t believe in the Bible, but because the phrase has become shorthand for churches that ask people to show up, suspend curiosity, and accept whatever the pastor says from the stage. It often reflects a narrow theological lens; one that goes down easy but doesn’t demand much. That isn’t discipleship. It isn’t spiritual formation.
The reality is that we are always being formed by something. In fact, we may be better at discipleship than we think because we are constantly being discipled. Maybe it’s by your favorite news channel or podcast. Maybe it’s by a social media feed or a tight circle of people who all think and live the same way. Formation is happening whether we acknowledge it or not.
If you spend significant hours each day immersed in one particular narrative about the world, that narrative will shape you. And the church, with one hour a week—if that—will always struggle to compete with that kind of formation.
So perhaps the question isn’t whether the church still has a role in spiritual formation. The question is whether we are willing to show up ready to be formed.
Spiritual formation requires humility, curiosity, and a willingness to be unsettled. It asks more of us than affirmation; it asks for transformation. And while the church must do better at creating environments where that kind of formation can happen, each of us also has to decide whether we are open to it.
Jesus’ first words were not “be right” or “be comfortable.” They were “change your hearts and lives.” That invitation still stands.